kiss me, kill me

miss me, thrill me

when you withdraw, even then you drill me

I was so alone until thee

even when in anger you grill me

yet your love manages to continue to fill me

I am in such amazing awe

at how easily to you I seem to crawl

the fury in my heart died with so little fuel

left for the flame

our love is not really love

its more like an elaborate game

each of us as wounded victims of remorse

will never be quite the same

since neither of us will rise the winner

there is no one to pin on the blame

but how can I forget your face

when the truth no longer flew but fell

I know not the strength I possess

and truth knows no lie to creatively tell

I managed to swing the point back in my favor

but not so you'd notice

after years of practice I've gained quite a talent

and knack for this

I find such strength in your touch

acceptance in your kiss

yet even in these winning words lurks the soul

of a true masochist

emptiness claws at me in its desperation for a better


but on the emotional direction of my concentration

the out come is pending.................

( written Nov 3, 1991 pm)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I wrote this about my friend Kelly in Tampa, Florida. I had gone to visit her and she told me all about her strange relationship with her boyfriend. She was sharing him in a sense with another older woman. In short, he had a sugar Mama she suspected yet she stayed in a sexual relationship with him and considered him her love. I, on the other hand could not comprehend this and this poem came of that.

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