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JOURNAL#4

he said we're not brother and sister but your blood

runs through my veins

your thoughts run rampant through my head

you're the oasis at whose feet I collapse after

slogging lifelessly across the emptiness of the

dry desert plains and know that without your love

surrounding me

I would be emotionally dead

and because I love you so I will never have to walk

alone ever again

for where I abruptly leave off you are there

to take my place and begin again in my hopeful stead

I'm not wholeheartedly sure whether or not for

anything there is such a thing as a complete cure

but in my eyes everyone stands far off behind you

out of focus in the background's blur

and the difference lays in the fact that I loved you

during, still now and beyond death where as I for

only the briefest glimpse lovingly looked at her

hate me because I have admitted for a moment my loins

did begin to stir

but don't make me live my life without you because

of this

for that I could not endure

you believe for love to truly work that it takes

more than the simple pairing off of two

so many complications we have yet to face

now isn't that

and not my natural male impulses

the general issue

you can't be bothered by my needs and reservations

now isn't it just too damn bad that I can not be

exactly like you

so trust me  

you will

for a long time to come

recall this conversation...............

(written Aug 29,1991 am)
















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