DELIBERATE

Folder: 
JOURNAL#4

many times it has been said
there is power to be found
beneath the ink of the pen
but hatred has to be love's darkest sin
I crudely carve another strip away from my soul
to slowly construct ideas I see as truly beautiful
much can be gained from such a small thing as pain
but the exacting knife is so often dull
contrary thoughts are repeatedly ripped from
desperate corners of the under mastered mind
with a pretty painful pull
no pain, no gain has always been said to be
the on running rule
but adversity has little affect on me
for I'm as adamant as an old work mule
I do not suffer ignorance and smile at the
sight of a fool
I have grand conversations with myself
when I am lonely and alone
I build marvelous mental structures
from the floor up
stone by parlous stone
no skeletal thought is left in any way unturned
only through close means of examination is new
knowledge gleamed and learned
it is for a little quiet peace of mind
that I have repeatedly yearned
in the darkest caverns of the hidden soul
many grand facades have fallen and burned
I find I want to do horrendous things to make up
for my indescribable loss of face
terrified though
that my own heart I may inadvertently double cross
I give you my one point in case
I am a victor over life's unfortunate circumstances
on a low grade form of entertainment
from the mind, through the hand, to the page
a small space of many's psyches I momentarily
rent..........
(written July 9,1991 in the afternoon)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

talking in my head and all that spilling out as poetry once again.......

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