UNTESTED SKILL

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JOURNAL #6

I refuse to let myself drown in the blood of another 's

foolish beliefs

yet, I can't allow myself to get bogged down by the

ghost of fading, former griefs

there is still an untapped violence inside me that

could scare death itself into cooperating

home truths are wonderful contractors for the building

of humanity but to the generous spirit they can be

quite deflating

the generous stretch of ground I have covered so far

remains frozen beneath my much too tired feet

at my own game I only have myself left in which to take

on and beat

and only then will I be back on top

feeling fully alive and complete

hopefully this painful process I won't have to force

myself ever again to repeat

if I succeed over my greedy self through such an

untested form of skill

every dream and nightmare that ever lived in my soul

I'll simultaneously fulfill..............

( written March 28,1992 pm)

Author's Notes/Comments: 

anger at my own self over something. Was an inner conflict, can not say now though what was going on in me at the time.

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