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so now I know

he doesn't love me

I've lived and now I've learned

the fact is written on my face

for all the world to see

the question is how do I face up to this

Do I turn tail and run?

No, I stand up to it  with my face free of pain

and remiss

I suppose I should now thank God for my narrow

escape

I loved him I know now that he doesn't love me

he never did

this makes me so irrate

he passed up something that could have been close to

that of heaven

namely me

some say the phrase YOU MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING!

at one time I felt those exact words about him but now there really isn't any sense in crying

in actuality he made death worth dying

this poem so far stinks

it reaks of poorly dicted clinks

I'm sitting on a stone wall

with all my thoughts in a terrible scrawl

I've been dropped twice and haven't any sales

the funny thing is as y et I don't care

I'm happy at least it feels like happiness

I know last night he showed me a certain bond we

have between each other

even though it wasn't a loving with love relationship

I am free of the burden

I can not rage for I have a choice

I can have him if I want him

he has not left me alone at such a self discovering

stage

but free of him completely is that what I want

no, in the end  I want to belong to him

even if it is only a temporary and or physical thing

in my soul

a dulled happiness begins to sing

Melissa

(written Oct 14,1987)