I can not seem to stave off the longing in my soul

perhaps my life wouldn't feel so dreadfully empty

if I could just somehow let it go

startling possibilities wrapped in the web of a

beautiful future yet to be embraced

plague me almost relentlessly so

its almost silly to admit that I actually miss

a man that I have yet to completely know

he regularly visits the home in my mind

and constantly reminds me of dreams of love I

once had so very long ago

he teases my once good sense and makes farce of

my unimaginable woe

yet still I am stricken with remorse for the

tears he has shed for an insensitive other and

so freely let flow

how ironic it is that our winding paths to each

other can become so confusingly blurred yet still

on a deeper level so perfectly simpatico

simple friends alone it seems

now that we shall forever be

I just 'Wish' a different more fruitful path

we could go

and I pray all the while that the lessons from

this very loss

I somehow learn what it is I am supposed to


and maybe I can come to hope that in another

far better time he and I will learn much, much

more and together be allowed to grow

thank you Lord for revealing him at last to me

you've answered one more of my dearest prayers

but just to a far, far lesser desired degree

but still you answered it

and I won't ever forget this

previously only thought of impossible kindness

you've shown

you've touched me yet again

all the more with you sweet never ending grace

one times by three

love, patience and understanding............

(April 19, 1998)

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