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If I don't get a letter

You'd better just watch out!

I may stop writing, call to fuss,

Or maybe I'll just pout!

It's been three days without one,

And I'm about to pop.

I may just flag the postman down,

And make that sucker stop.

I bet he has my letters

Beside him on the seat.

He's laughing cause I'm lonely.

I bet he's teasing me.

I'd better hear the gravel crunch

Today at half past ten.

I'd better hear that mailbox clunk,

Cause I don't understand.

I WANT MY MAIL and want it NOW,

So he'd better bring it quick.

I'll throw rocks at that mail truck.

I'm a redneck, country hick.

It won't embarrass me at all

If I pitch a temper fit.

But if I don't get a letter soon,

I won't be worth horse spit.