Painful Memories

My last words will be

Oh shit

And I must admit when it comes to fear

The Candy Man,

Freddie, Jason, Michael...Bloody

Mary….and the dude from Scream

Ain’t got shit

On this scene

I know yall been there

Havin to endure the pure torture

Of a guilty conscience

As you begin to enter dream sequence

Concocting all the ways your momma will beat yo ass

And suddenly the time is crawling past

You start runnin fast to prevent as much pain

As possible scramblin to hide all the phone cords

And heavy belts…no this ain’t an unlawful flogging This shit be

Mild hey even the bible

Says spare the rod and spoil the child

Now all you can do is wait,that damn phone

Call done sealed your fate

And God out of mercy or just malice

Grants you with some super powers

Or maybe it’s fear that enables you to hear

Everything from when that car pulls up in the drive

On down to the click of the key in the door

And know what’s in store

Suddenly the room will go dark and still

The clink of the belt blends in with the

Lively staccato beat of your heart which is

Accentuated by the clip clop of her shoes

Taunting the ground with your shivers

This together creates an unreal hip hop beat

Just waiting for your wails of pain to provide the melody



So there’s me sittin in the almost dark room

Listening to my doom

And as she stands in the door half in the shadows

It reminds me of that scene in all the horror films where

The killer stands there knife in hand

And as the light hits it just right

You hear that shink sound of cold steal kissing

Empty expectations

My heart is racin as she cracks that shit

Getting in a few practice swings this added to the hip hop beat

Makes me start to squirm in my seat



We sing our hearts out

My voice tinged with secular pleasure

As the belt rapes my bare behind its kisses

Leave me stinging with shame and the regret of

One belt overlooked

Her voice deep and spent it never gets to far off beat



DIDN’T (smack)….ahhhhh!



I (smack)…..arraaaahh!



TELL (smack)…ahhhhhhh!



YOU (smack)….owwwwwww!



NOT (smack)…noooooooo!



TO (smack)….ppppppllleaasse!



SHOW (smack)……iiiiii’mmmmm!



OFF (smack)……srrrrryyyyyy!



IN (smack)…..aaaaaaahhhh!



SCHOOL (smack)…..aaahhhhhhh!



And I’m instantly glad my momma doesn’t studder it’d be like



DI(smack)

DI(smack)

DIDN'T(SMACK)



I(smack)



TE(smack)

TE(smack)

TELL(SMACK)



YO(smack)

YO(smack)

YOU(SMACK)



Shoot I’d never again be able to sit

Wait what was that sound……oh shit....

She’s here…..

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John Eucare's picture

This is some powerful thang thang grrrll... I hope you didn't have to live it. If it is then let me preach for a sec...Abuse is never justifiable. Don't ever make excuses for it. It only keeps the cycle of violence in swift certain damning motion... headed for another child or spouse like a pendulum swinging down for it last tearing glance. You will need to forget it but there is no need to forgive. Let them forgive themselves... thats what abusers are best at.