Desperate for Desire

Desperate plea

Desperate cry

I sit in the darkness

And wonder why

Why do I feel

The way I feel?

How can I put motion

To my tender heels?

Oh God I wait

But the patience is gone

You only exist to me

When the feelings are turned on

But do I seek You, Lord

When boredom seeps through

When all desires have subsided

And the apathy is anew

I cry out for Light

As the dreaded darkness falls

But why does it feel

Like I'm praying to the walls?

By Your word I know You listen

By Your word I know You're there

Yet I feel so lost and empty

When I'm forcing out a prayer

What have I been doing

For the kingdom yet to be

Just sitting idly by

As the Joy slowly escapes me

I feel as though I'm worthless

To God, I am no use

Day and night the devil taunts me

Getting high off the abuse

My passion has run dry

My soul is desolate

In stillness I can hear You say

"My daughter, do not fret.

This season will not last

For it is only a test of your faith

Your emotions do not define Me

It is in My Word You must have faith."

Oh, what am I supposed to do

When I live in a world I do not crave

And the love for Jesus Christ

Goes lukewarm and to the grave

How easy it is to praise my God

When things go my way

But when I'm down in the pit

My faith waivers without delay

We cannot fathom the living God

Or understand all of His plans

But I do know that He is trustworthy

And that nothing can snatch us from His hands

I know that God will get me through this..

It’s only a matter of time

Sometimes He speaks, sometimes He listens

My well-being is always on His mind.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

You know, our feelings deceive us...and they can become such a snare for the devil to come into our lives and actually convince us that God hates us and that we've failed miserably and He doesn't want us... but nothing could be further from the truth... satan is always trying to get us to doubt God, and he uses our feelings to tell us so. God is faithful, He is trustworthy and He is good. Even when we displease Him, He loves us with an unfailing love. Even if we do something that angers Him... His favor is still there. His anger lasts only a moment...but His favor lasts a lifetime... weeping may last for a night...but joy will come in the morning.

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Suzanne Atkins's picture

Great poem, nicely written and has a good meaning behind it but may I say.......satan doesn't exist.