God will never reject me

I saw him one Sunday morning

it's when we first met

after church service he approached me

I thought it was a God-thing

I thought that he cared

but he wasn't really interested

not even for a onetime fling

I let the devil mess with me

I let my emotions get all out of whack

and now God is missing

I can't find my way back

Lord if You're still there

Let me know that You still care

I hate having to chose

between what I need and what I want

I want a boyfriend I want someone to love me

I want someone to fall in love with

But I need You, I need to fall in love with You

I don't want this guy, take away these desires

I want to want You the way I want him

I want to get emotionally attached to You

and not the people of this world

But I selfishly hardened my heart

when you took away this guy

deep down I know that You are all I need

that someday You will bless me with a man

but part of me finds it hard to believe

my whole life has been full of disappointments

things that could have, would have happened

if only this or that didn't get in the way…

I know that Your love for me is far greater

than any man could ever provide

but I need that physical love, that physical touch

that not even You can give me here on earth

what if I die before I get married?

It seems so unfair… but You are always fair

If I die before the chance, I'll be in heaven with You

and You will fulfill all my desires

why am I struggling so much with this?

If I keep on living, You will give me a husband

If I die tonight, You'll give me what I need in a husband

Man may lead me on, he may turn around and reject me

But You Lord, are always truthful, always trustworthy

and You will never reject me.

©2002 All Rights Reserved.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

this guy from church asked for my number and we went out and it was all good until the leaders got involved and now its all messed up... but I guess God knows what He's doing, I just wish I didn't have to go through all this pain all the time, guy after guy after guy. I'm so sick of it.

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