Laying With Fear

She wakes up for tomorrow but Im still laying awake in today,
Petrified with fear, but it seems there is no other way.
A small gesture could snowball into something so much more,
Leaving the night in the past and the clothes on the floor.
Does she patiently await my eager touch?
Or am I simply thinking about this far to much?
Shes not my first but this time its not the same,
Something more serious, not just another game.
Rejection has never really scared me untill now,
To get past this fear I dont know how.
A prisoner in my own mind, I cant break free.
Within this silent asylum I scream and I plea.
The one I love, a passenger in this bed,
Yet froze with fear I lay as if I were dead.
Wondering if she feels the same as I,
Wondering when Ill get the courage to at least try.
A kiss of my hand, a gentle rub sparks the chemistry.
A friendly gesture or a signal is the true mystery.
Untill I break this fear, if youll ever answer Ill never know for sure.
But everytime I arrive, Im to scared to even knock on the door.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem is about how I felt when a very close female friend had been spending the night almost every night. We would cuddle up, be affectionate but I was never sure if I should try and takes things further. I was worried of her response. I have never been shy when it comes to women but I also have never shared a bed with a woman I care for so much.

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