Author Information
I Still Can't Breathe
Folder:
closet boxes 2002 I thought I saw you
get op and leave
you took my breath
I still can't breathe.
I feel the pain
and want to choke
while I do pray
this is a joke.
I close my eyes
you dissappear
that all along
was what I feared.
Will you remember
all those days
that now seem so
damn far away.
Will you just say
you didn't know
then walk away
I watch you go.
When you are gone
will I regret
this hate I hope
I do forget.
The first four lines were going great, and then it just dropped off into oblivion.
wow i love it
but...yes there is always a but and you will always hate that but
but...
these lines don't sit well
"while I do pray
this is a joke."
try somethign like while i hope this is a joke
"that all along
was what I feared"
k feared dosen't go with disapear but meh and that all along part erg
"then walk away
I watch you go."
k its the last line (plush they go with the days and aways before but meh) and if you said then wlak away and let this go it would work better
"this hate I hope
I do forget. "
ash
yeah i'm pissy so i pikced on yr poem sorry luv
Much Love
Ashley