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As I sit and think about life

I can't help but think about

the unborn life of my own

my own flesh and blood



A life that I could have

brought into this world



The one and only person and thing

in this world that could have turned my life around

So that I could have been the man that I should be

The one that I could show them how to live

in a world that is so unjust and impure



As I lie awake at night

I can hear

little foot steps running to my room

to jump in my bed

Looking at me to see if I'm awake as they lie

next to me to go to sleep

Could this have been



The son that every father wants

A son

to bring up to be a better man than him

To be able to show him how to play sports

How to hunt and fish

or

Could it have been daddy's little girl

The daughter that I could spoil

and protect with all the love a father has

to give



As I think about the life

that I will never be able to hold

I can't help but cry and think



Could I have been the father

that they would love unconditionlly

Knowing that I may not be the best father

but knowing that I gave them all the love that I had

and taught them all that I could



I wish I would have know then

what I know now

So I could have stopped their mother

from taking their life

With out me even knowing

that I was going to be a father



Even though I never got to see their face

I still love them with all my heart





To my unborn child



By

Jeremy Conn

10-23-01