III (footprints)

Dear *****,

God you looked so gorgeous tonight at dinner, your reflection must have shed a tear when the last glimpse left the mirror. I could barely make sense of any conversation we engaged in, I was too deeply immersed within the beauty of your voice. Fallen Angel; you landed in a sea of feathers and orchids. I wiped the wet petals from your naked body and kissed every inch of it until you fell back asleep. In infinite true love, who needs to see their lovers face? That day by the lake I swear I saw you holding a small beam of light in your palm. A vibrant speck that illuminated wildly on your face. It inched it's way across my lips until they were sealed shut. With you, no morbid memories of industrial sleepwalk or mundane tales of clock kissing. I'll hold you truly without any worry, this miracle is a triumph to those in pain. I think it's sexy when you sit quietly in your chair, just reading. Looking so intensely peaceful and concentrated. It's almost unbearable to be honest. Your soft breath is like delicate music, played so precisely. Humming coldly over the sound of the roaring ocean. I touch you sometimes in the middle of the night (JUSTTOMAKESUREITSSTILLYOU) To make sure, sure you're still there. Now to sleep or what you poisoned me with.

Following your footprints one night led me to a small cabin in a deep, private patch of forest. I couldn't see my shadow, let alone yours. But I knew it was there. A dim light poured out from the side window, a thick billow of towering smoke from the chimney. The door was unlocked, I entered cautiously and felt your presence haunting every bit of this place. An empty wine glass with the small reminisce of red wine at the bottom of the glass, sat beside a carefully crafted ceramic ashtray with 3 extinguished cigarette butts in it. 2 your specific brand and 1 that was not. A nervousness moved through me that i couldn't explain at that moment. I didn't remember shutting the door either. It was now closed and locked, then the feeling that I wasn't alone. I slowly walked toward the hallway, small but leading to 3 different doors. All of them matching and only a foot apart from each other. Now a sinking, stomach churning fear throughout my entire body. I watched as the furthest door opened, it wasn't you. I knew it wasn't. It looked just like you though, some uncanny illusion. My mind telling itself, telling me it was you. But instinctively i knew, it just wasn't. A sadness quickly washing over that dimmed the room further. I watched in curious horror as this apparition motioned toward me, slowly, longingly, it tip-toed down the darkened hall. Dressed in an elegantly thin silk white robe, bare footed and black haired. A look of demonic uneasiness on it's face. God it had to be you, tears swelling as i realized for sure that this was not you.

But some distant figure of hell, coming for me. With hands as cold as winter air it ran it's fingers carefully down the left side of my face. Even picking up one of the tears that had crawled out of my eye. I closed my eyes and gasped as it then filled me with this overwhelming sense of euphoria. Like some strong, overly potent opiate had found it;s way into my bloodstream. The sweetest feeling to ever be abused. I felt it's face moving into mine, I opened my mouth and felt it's tongue slither across mine into a kiss. It was cold, a good cold. Now one exists. I tasted the exotic poison being offered to me. It took a step back and looked towards the door it came out of. A panic came over it's face then, and i felt it too. Im paralyzed and now weightless as my hand motions to hers. The ghost broke into the most disturbing smile, it began walking me to the 3rd door. It was growing warmer and warmer, the further we went. I heard a menacing scream from behind the 2nd door, like that of some abandoned victim of a serial killer. She looked at me, now I knew it wasn't you. The eyes were a heavy brown instead of a pure blue. Yanking my hand away from hers, and taking a few steps back. The doppleganger approached me in a troubling manner, like I was some exquisite prey it had captured.

The screams from behind the 2nd door grew more intense, only to stop suddenly and behind door number 1 spewed this hideous array of tangled whispers, some foreign language forgotten by time. The ghost then opened it's mouth, revealing a pitch black orifice meant to swallow me. I went for the front door, but it was locked from the inside. I called out your name to it, and it just stood there, frozen and staring at me. A violent knock came from the door behind me, pounding and pounding in short intervals. The ghost then shuffled ferociously around the room, taunting me from a short distance with a seizure like quality. Gestures of abduction and turmoil came from it's body language. The whispers behind the first door merged with new ones from the second, colliding into some texture of hypnosis. I snapped out of it and pulled on the front door continually. Nothing. The thing then smiled and walked eerily backwards, into the 3rd room. I heard your voice just as it closed the door, calling at me from the front door. It was you, the real you. I pulled at it and it swung open into a pure haze of blinding white light. I become fully hypnotized and comatose as something magnetizes me forth. Not knowing where I am now, asleep yet fully aware. Some figure coming near me, not you. It puts its arms around me in an embrace I know i am stuck in. Content, this is my trap. Not you.

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