Sometimes I want to
slash your throat
in one swift motion
and watch you bleed out.
Not for any other reason
than to feel the pain
of hurting someone I love
in a visceral manner.
Heart-wrenching pain is one thing
but to see all that red pouring out
caused by my own hand
would make this more real.
I guess killing you would hurt me
more than killing myself
because I would have
To face the consequences.
Prison seems about
the only place I could belong,
the only dark space
that woild hold my thoughts.