Looking for a Home

If you only knew
how deep my scars are,
how some are self-inflicted.


I have been stabbed
by your own hand.


People have planted seeds
of doubt in my mind
and from them,
a garden of insecurity grew.


I held my breath
and closed my eyes
expecting the blow
at any moment.


I held back tears
for so long then they coursed
through me like a flood.


There comes a point
when you stop seeking
the approval of people
that always reject
or criticize you.

So you look elsewhere

everywhere, anywhere,
until you find it.


Sometimes at the expense
of everything you believe in.


Disregarding your values
to satisfy your appetite
for affection.


I feel so lost
looking for a home
I've never known.

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