This Demon

I walk through the school gates,

Back into what society perceives as normality.

Though, I cannot leave my pain outside these perimeters,

it continues to stalk me wherever i go.

I cannot concentrate.

let alone forget.

While the teacher speaks of new found properties,

Mathematical equations,

I faithfully copy them down trying to shun out the sickening feelings within

As i do so my eye catches on my wrists...

Everything comes flooding back in a new found blow

Everyone surrounds me, completely unaware of the war raging within me.
They laugh, speaking of the weekend

speaking about their plans

Yet here I sit up the back, everyone around me but oh so alone.

Tears are welling,

The redemption is brewing

just from catching sight of my shame

I cut them in sets,

Just so they look accidental.

But even with my forethought, rumors cannot be contained.

They make me feel like a freak

My friends are hurt.

My lies don't convince anyone.

Its my choice, but they make it so difficult.

They want to help me, by god i want help so badly

But they can only reach for my fingertips,

While this demon has the rest of me in it's embrace.

The darkness is overwhelming,

The light gone from my eyes.

I can't hide it anymore.

Why must i be judged for what i cannot stop?

Its taken me over,

even if i wish to bring an end to it

This little demon has me in a grasp so strong its suffocating.

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