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Dont Feel Guilty
I feel as if Im being smothered
By all the unhappiness
Its so hard to realize it all at once
It completly consumes you, you cant even breathe
You look for help, But you are ignored
They just dont seem to notice any of the clues I give
Dont even notice when I take so many that I pass out on the stairs
They think Im this happy person
Dont let themselves see the truth
The truth is there, So hard-hitting
It mangles you in pain
How can you not realize how much I hurt
How can you not notice the blood stains on my sheet
How can you ignore the empty pill bottles
Are you really that blind, Or do you just not care
It eats at me, Making me hollow, I try to tell you
You dont understand, Why or how I am this way
You wouldnt belive me, If you even cared
If you havnt noticed, At this rate Ill be leaving you soon
You dont take the time or initiative to come to me, And make it right
I hope that when I do it, You dont feel guilty
I guess its all my fault
I must not be leaving enough clues to my mind
You have the key, Talk to me, Beat it out of me
I will never tell you unless I am forced
So when I finally do it, I hope you dont feel guilty
Thinking of ending your misery? This is quite well written. Feelings of loneliness and lonesome appear in every line. If this is you or someone you know, look around you're not the only one who suffers from life.
Do you write music with your poetry? It'd be really cool if you could have a melody to go with it. You're poems are really good. I'm amazed. My English teacher loves poetry from gifted students. She's a good critic and can analyze anything. I'm sure she'd enjoy it if you sent it to her. I sent her some of my depressing poetry. She gazed at me with her mouth agape. I like your use of inferences. Pro poets use clues to tell the reader what has happened. You accomplished this quite effectively. Your transitions are very smooth which is hard for a lot of people. the 7th line is somewhat confusing. The noun that is modified by "so many" is "clues." This doesn't make sense since you aren't taking clues. Your word selection must have taken a lot of thought. "Mangled" and hard hitting both suggest self injury. That thought is confirmed by the mentioning of blood. The thing that makes your poems stand out is that they're so relateable. I often have these feelings at school and at home.I don't know if all people like us seem to drop out clues, but I sure do. I sit by myself at lunch, but instead of sitting on the end, I sit in the middle, signaling I don't want to be far away from anyone that's willing to sit at my table. I don't think it's not that they don't care, but just that they don't know how. The main thing that keeps people from acting on their instincts is fear. Without fear we could do whatever we wanted. I don't know what they're afraid of. I don't know what I'm afraid of when I want to sit with someone that is lonely. I'm not afraid to do that on this computer though. I don't know why that is either.