My Quote

"The poets and writers are born stylists!"

- King of Words

View kingofwords's Full Portfolio
hitalot879's picture

Great read just some thoughts

What works:
I like the moments where there is a rhyme. It gives a presumed end and sums up the lines before. I like how it is structured using terms like moving and bridges, meeting and middle.

What doesn't work:
I find some line breaks both confusing and interesting. Sometimes you can use a line break to change the tempo of the poem, but other times the line break seems awkward. Try talking through the poem and see if the line breaks make sense rhythmically. Other times the line break seems to emphasizes a given word or phrase, but it is not consistent in its usage. If the line break is used at a given point in the paragraph, then it might seem more intentional.

The center of the poem:
The impression I get is of someone who is in the midst of change. They are hesitant on how to proceed and is looking to someone to help them along.


Mario Vitale