For the Boys

You were the first one I saw, the summer before my freshman year

In the sweet summer sun, you looked so perfect

Soon I knew, or thought I knew, that you were "the one"

I spent so much time, dreaming, wishing, hoping

But never actually told you

And seeing you again, once, after so much time

Made me wish, so much, that there had been something

So I wrote, and...

Nothing.

At least I told you.



And then there was you

Summer-time friend

I see you once each year, and only for a week

But being with you makes it seem so much more

Laughter, stories, music, cards

Your wry wit, never failing to make me laugh

One more time, and then it's over, perhaps for forever

I miss you.



Also you

The one I saw at church

Every week, for a time, though now no longer

Sarcasm and teasing, brilliant humour

I would watch you

And for a time, hoped you watched me too

Our mothers swore we'd see each other this summer

And surely we shall

But today I find out, you have a girlfriend

Cruel fate shatters hopes

But I will still be your friend.



Finally, you, the one I saw often

I didn't know, at first, but then I realized

Your eyes, your slightly upturned nose

The jazz in your soul

Your courage, putting up with more than anyone I have ever met

I admire you from afar

And joke with you when you are near

Shared interests, common friends

Make me think, maybe there is still hope

I can't tell you, not yet, for I lack the courage

But maybe, one day, I will

I wish I could.

And so, I wait for you.



And besides all these, there is one I never considered

Friend, neighbour

The one that seems to care for me

You treat me the way none have ever treated me before

You hold me, comfort me when I am sad

Somehow, get me to talk about almost anything

And yet, I feel nothing

Except guilt, because it seems there should be something there

Still we remain friends, and yet...

I'm sorry.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is the first poem I wrote that wasn't for a class of any sort.  It's about the boys in my life; each of the five has a stanza of his own.

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Bryant Harland's picture

Yeah, you had all these guys all over the place.