I can't get away from how I feel

It follows me everyhere

The same decisions made over again

Mistakes I never learn from, nor can repair.

I see the same cycles propelling my life

In circles unbroken

By any amount of strife.

The same desires I follow and fail

To attain what I love

As my spirit grows pale.

I know what I want,

And would do anything for it,

Though there's danger in so blind a pursuit.

All I see is my goal,

Not what is happening as a whole,

And to life's lost dreams

I give death's cold reality a salute.

I've tried that once before,

And all it brought was pain

To know there was yet another end,

However easy, I still could not gain.

Now I toast to life, in hopes of reward,

A glass half-full, in good faith be implored,

But to me it is lacking, and will always be so,

The grail that is golden holds less,

while the wooden chalice holds more,

One can melt and one can burn,

It seems that the lesson of transience

In fire I shall best learn.

Fires of passion, fires untamed,

Fires that leave all its victims badly maimed.

As if I didn't learn time ago

The lesson of impending suffering,

A consequence I surely now should now,

I submit myself once again to pain

I gladly will endure,

Because of my unfailing faith

That answers to a fading future's allure.

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