Daddy, did you...?

1998 - 2010

Did I ever call for you late into the night,
Screaming in my sleep because the monster's out for blood?
I find myself wishing it to be the way it was,
Even though I'll never know how good or bad
It was before.
Daddy, I was only four,
And no one let me say goodbye.
Did you even think before you headed down the road?
As the snow began to fall, Daddy, Did you think of me?

Every now and then, I reward you with the blame
For my anger, pain, and loneliness
The basis for my brokenness:
A Dad who never was.

Daddy. do you even know
My eyes have never been my own because
You left me here to be the mirror for the face
You left behind.

Daddy, did you ever cry when I left the house for prom?
Or when I left for college to begin my freshman year?
Did you ever think, "Damnit, I wish I could be there?"

Daddy, do you think that you and I will one day meet again,
Do you think that by that time my heart will just forgive?
Let’s take a trip to see where your mama gave you life,
And I'll show you the house where my mama raised me right.
And then we'll see the place I never went to say goodbye.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written July 23, 2010

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