Things I Can't Have

1998 - 2010

I’ve made a deal with common sense
We know what’s best kept or left behind.
My feet know when to leave
My heart knows what it’s really worth
But if my eyes catch sight of your shaggy hair,
Your lashes and the way they curl,
Then I have to beg for joy that hurts
Yes, I know it’s less than I deserve.

I was tough like solid gold,
Like Peter Pan, I couldn’t love
So hopeless I couldn’t feel a thing.
I let you heat me over an open flame
Beating me, branding me vulnerable.
So sick, I loved the suffering.
You could have said that you were cold
So burned that your flesh was untouchable.
When once love felt so poisonous,
It’s oxygen that I’ll never exhale.

I’m not swimming in an alternative
I heard when you said it loud and clear,
That you’d prefer loneliness.
Yes, I understand why I’ve been dismissed
But you can’t pretend you’re under lock and key
Someday I’ll understand why certain things
Are specifically things that I can’t have.
But until then I’ll have to pretend
That you’ll ask for me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written January 26, 2010

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