Secrets in the Wall

Mental Illnesses

It was late.

I watched the walls

like they had secrets.

Like maybe if I stared at it long enough,

they would show themselves to me.

The hallways,

they appeared to be getting darker.

Like maybe everyone in the house had went to sleep,

or my eyelids were drifting me to sleep.

But they were wide open.

Wide enough

because I was trying to make him appear.

I thought that these secrets were his secrets.

The reasons he said those things to me.

That maybe if I saw him,

he would explain why he left.

So these walls,

which were not in any correlation with him,

maybe they could find him for me.

Through the door,

of which I keep shut

to keep the shadows in the dark out,

came his shadow.

It creeped in, into my bedroom

and stood before me.

I did not know if it was him

because there was no expression.

His face a canvas

on which I could have painted a different story,

but all I saw were the secrets,

the little lies,

the major abuse.

The pain he left me in

all because he was in pain himself.

He said he know how to love,

but he must not of known what that meant.

Which must of been his secret.

The walls are hiding the fact

that maybe he never loved me.

Maybe if I stare at this wall long enough

it will crush me

becuase my sorry excuse of a father,

he crushed me.

Taught me I can't trust,

I can't love   anyone.

Because there are too many secrets

hidden in their walls.

mypersonalpoems777's picture

Nice Job

Wow your anger and betrayal is expressed very beautifully in this poem, Very moving

Nicholas Dulepski