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Eternal Darkness
Here I am, in Eternal darkness,
in this strange, dark, empty abyss,
I feel the cords, seemingly binding,
I'm looking, trying, but never finding.
I open my eyes, but find darkness still,
No beauty to see, only coldness to feel,
Never again to see dawn's great light,
Or to see the beautiful stars so bright,
I'm frightened and lost, Forever alone,
As slowly inside, my hope turns to stone,
In my world it's forever night,
But no stars, no moon to give me light.
I've had this nightmare. Kept me up most of my early youth years.
Very well written flows pretty smoothly.
As far as constructive crit. Remember simple rhyming makes things easier to remember, and cool sounding. But if you put to much into trying to make it rhyme properly you can lose your thought flow. Feel free to vary it a bit.
Longfellow's Song of Hiawatha is an good poem to read to understand this. Using different rhyming techniques to accomplish the same goal more effectively.
haha i read it like 10 more times. my only idea is that its about a blind person...... am i close?
wow, i really like this one, it may be short but i really felt some emotion in this. i am wondering is there anything behind this poem??? either way i loved it