Closed door... broken chapter

It's the pain the hurt and the hardship that keeps me going over and over again. The past should... or I should say I've believe that the past is behind me only when I close my eyes there it is like it was yesterday. Not only do I torture myself with the past it is a constant throw in my face by the people around me. How can one heal with all these factors in paly?! As I get over one thing another emerge which with it, it brings a new pain and hurt. I talk with no one for the one that I spoke with the most I trust the least in these days and time. I try to concur these problems on my own... for in reality I've put myself into this mess I find myself into. He says "I'm looking for fun" and so was I so we went along, only deep down I knew it was wrong. As time past I struggle with getting out only now I'm in too deep and feelings are strong only it's a one sided affair He doesn't feel the same for his heart belong to someone or maybe even two or more others out there. Bloody fool I've become what happen to that once wall I built and the stone of a heart that I always carried around?! I've talked myself into thinking I could go back to "fun" only I know I can't it's goodbye on my part but it hurts like hell. I say... "I've been through it before so whats new?! weep in private and move on life must go on".  

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