PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

In every person’s life you can’t help yourself thinking about the past. Even how much it hurts you’ll need to know it before going to the future. Doubts, bitterness, hatred, pain and worry are not valid reasons for you not to move on. You’ll need to give second chances and being scared is natural for human being. Trust is the only thing you need to do, without it you can’t be happy. The flow of life may not sometimes be the way you want it, all you need to do is accept and be brave enough to face it. Drowning is the hardest part but hold on the hands of those who try to lift you up. Breathe as long as you can, even if it hurts inside.
When I was still young until now, I always told myself when it comes to loving I must be the first. Who never wants that? A person like me of course because I believe that it’s unfair when he’s the first one I’ve love but in him I’m not. What a childish demand? Isn’t it? Yes, it is but you can’t blame the person like me and those who are like me neither. It hurts when we think we are not the first one who makes your heart beats fast, who held your hand so tight and never let go, the first one who makes a smile on your face, who embraces you to make you feel you’re not alone and who’s with you always when life is unfair. Is it jealousy? No, Yes, maybe, all I know it’s natural. Others may say what matters most is that, I’m the one being loved now, because the person can’t love the second if he still love the first. Yes, it’s true but we can’t really tell that when all we have are you, alone.
Now, no matter how much I say to myself “I don’t care” , no matter how many times I deny my feelings I can never really keep it when it hurts so badly. Even if I cry, pain never leaves me, even if I trust you, worry and doubts never fail to visit me. It’s my first time to fall in love and I hate it knowing I’m not the first girl in his life. It breaks me into pieces that I can hardly breathe because of the deep pain I’m feeling. It makes me weak and I don’t know how long I can take it when all of them try to pull me down. I don’t know how much you love her before and I don’t know the times you spend with those years. I don’t want to know it anymore for it kills me. I thought loving would be easy, but it’s not. It surprises me thinking that I experience those things I heard before with other people. How stupid I am thinking I could get away from this.
I always have my plans before, I always want my life organized and choose only the person who can enter my door. But you knock and gravity pulls me without thinking I let you in. Now the thing I’m afraid of is happening. Would I regret it? Well, I thank God for giving me this life because it makes me strong and learn things that I never expect to experience.

I am an optimistic person and I always hope that I’m not wrong in choosing you. I’ll absorb every pain as long as I know you won’t leave me. I’ll cry in every hurt as long as I have tears knowing you’ll fight for me. I’ll still let my heart beats as long as I know and feel you love me. I’ll trust you as long as I can.

-QLight