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I'm clinging...

but what am I clinging to?

Oh, this ruffled pillow beside me

crushed within my arms

and this poor pillow i look upon

is drowned within my tears

what to express, what to address

all these mingled thoughts  

that strangle my conciousness

clinging to things to soothe me

wishing you were beside me

I can't say this is healthy

my body feels so weak, so brittle

feels so fake, just might break

what's food anymore?

me eating to stay alive...

to fill the empty space inside?

why am I still breathing?

intaking of air, as if I care

moving on with life as if I dare?

but i don't feel this urge

not one single urge,

to let the empty days pass by

without him near, to much to fear

that my mind might just give in

to the fitful thoughts that lie awake

inside my mind, I cannot shake

so i cling into my pillow

cling tight, won't let go

trying to find comfort, is there such a sort?

ready to smile, for just a while

and to let my mind breath

letting thoughts within me flow free...