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Dragon Eyes
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Dragon Poems His eyes are so dark, and so green.
The deepest green that I have ever seen,
So dark green: I almost think they are black.
The darkest "emerald" green I have ever seen
When I look into his eyes I feel sadness
When I try looking deeper, I can see the pain which causes the sadness.
When I try to walk towards my dragon, He steps away from me
I think he is scared of my hurting him more. *frown*
I try not to hurt anyone, but sometimes I fail at that badly.
I have hurt myself, and he can sense it.
He knows I have hurt myself over someone else and does not like it.
He is scared the hurt that is building inside of me, will damage our love.
In some ways it has "damaged me beyond repair" and others it has built a very thick, and a very dark wall around my "heart".
He is also scared of it damaging me more, but I am trying very hard not to let that happen.
My dragon is my one true love.
I love him more with each passing day.
His eyes no longer hold such sadness.
They are still a very dark green.
They eyes now are happy.
They show light in them.
They show, some happiness, that I love to sit and look at, when I am lonely.
When I look into his eyes, now, I still see some sadness, but not as much as I used to.
His eyes are still a shade of “emerald” but not as dark as night, now they are the ligther side of night, they look more like the fun side. I can see our lives meshing with each other, and I can also see his eyes turning towards me, instead of against me.
I am working on re-doing this one, it will take a while, for me to re-do it but when I get it done, it willhave a new title and a whole new meaning..
I am the dragon
Good write. Just a few suggestions that will make it more effective. I pass it along from a gracious editor.
Use line breaks like punctuation. Where you have a comma, put a line break also. Try to keep each line the same length (not paramount, but makes it look cleaner). From me...never sacrifice the message for the form. Poetry is one of the most intimate forms of communication, for you are trying to manipulate a person's emotions, to paint a picture that appeals to their senses, you are speaking to their soul as it were. Evoke a tear, a chuckle, anger, pride, what ever emotion you are trying for, you do it with your words. If the message is lost in pretty words and abstraction, to me anyway, you waste the reader's time. It is not to say that some of these aren't artfully done, but they are lost on me because the message has been lost in the hyperbole.
Hugs and Peace
HK