A Point In My Life

I’m at a point in my life

Where I just want to give up

I try to move forward

But I feel as if I’m stuck

I can’t get over the things I once had

Those things that once belonged to me

But those things are in the past

Moving on is forgetting the past

But I still dwell on those moments

Wishing that it last

For more then it did

Wishing I could go back

And change the things

I once forbid

As I look at myself

I’m watching myself change

Changing into something

Something I can’t explain

I think I know myself

As I try to get by

Only to discover

Who I am

Is undefined

I surprise myself by the actions I take

Only to realize what was done

Is a mistake

Or did I misunderstand

Truth from deceit

Not knowing myself

And what lies ahead of me

Not knowing what to do

Or the path that I’ll choose

Remembering past mistakes

And what again I might do

Am I confused

Or all along knew

What I don’t understand

What I thought was true

Not knowing whom to trust

Not knowing what path to choose

Always mislead

By things that are said

Letting everything people say

Go to my head

I will always be stubborn

Even when I am wrong

I will always sing

Even though I don’t know

The words to the song

I see things my way

And my way’s right

Or am I a lost cause

Not understanding life

But still in all

I put up a fight

Because the day I am gone

I want to see that bright light

To meet my creator

(if he even exists at all)

To get the answer to life

And the reason I was born

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was written in 1998. This was a dark period in my life. I was faced with confusion within myself and the world in which we all live.

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Afzal Shauq's picture

let me say again and again the same words from the core of my heart that..love the logics expressed in this poem with a good idea.. I went through few of your poems and loved them too..you are good poet and hope you never stop writing and add more poems.. this poem is good and love it..hope you like my poems too.. and let me know if they also touch your heart.. I am basically a peace wisher poet with 6 books published... I am a peace dreamer, love-based peace promoter... hope you be with me... let me share here one of my own famous say with you... ( a friendly smile is the best weapon of war to fight with..afzal shauq