Only One Above Thee, Can Judge Me

Forgive me father for in their eyes I have sinned

The love I feel never should have been

Never should have started

So in the eyes of others our love must be departed

So I tell thy father as I speak upon your name

How can something wrong ease my pain?

And take away my sorrow

When I wanted to die

What was wrong made me live to see tomorrow

Made me feel wanted

When I felt unappreciated

Didn’t tell me how to live my life

As others try to dictate it

So I ask thy father as I speak upon your name

How can they judge me if no one life is the same

If everyone has different pains and sorrow

If one can’t learn from self mistakes

It will be repeated in their tomorrows

Yet thy father I am being judged

They’re trying to take away

The one thing I truly love

So I ask thy father as I pray upon my knees

Give me strength for I am already weak

I’ve had enough pain, an endless life of sorrow

I ask you to forgive me today

If I should end my life tomorrow

I can’t make it through another day

If I can’t be with whom I love

I surrender to the darkness of my pain

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This poem was written after I had a  miscarriage, November 15th 1999. As I read this poem I rehash the sorrow in which I felt. It's funny because before my miscarriage I always often craved death, I thought death would solve all my problems. I never once thought, about the people I would leave behind. A part of me died, and taught me how selfish I was to want death, yet it's the only thing at the time I thought could comfort me.

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raminastar's picture

Once again I am overtaken by the sence of realism, the breathtaking pain the you endure the confusion you feel and the need for forgivness and regognition by some one and the one and only father. Another masterpiece from the Toya.