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It grips me by the throat

Like an abusive spouse

A body filled with pin-pricks

A mind filled with doubt

The hold on me is tight

Tighter than I can bear

I am forced still

I can't breathe

I am free, so free

Yet I feel chained

I am chained to the ground

I am Chained to the Walls

I am chained to the Sky

I begin to wonder

I start to bargain with my mind

Am I truly free? 

Is this all an illusion?

I can move left or right

forward and reverse

The chains are still there

Holding me back

Holding me down

When all I need is for someone

Anyone

To hold me tight

I examine my shackles

I examine these chains

I see the label, see a name

My own name?

Did I do this to myself?

I check my pockets

I check for keys

I find the answer

I have myself locked

I have myself blocked

I have myself fucked

I take the keys

Desperately trying to unlock

Desperate to be free

Then it grips me by the throat

Freezing me

Consuming me

Disabling me

I throw the keys 

I throw them out of reach