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I didn't want to come back.....



I wanted to drift off into that bright light that was steadily calling my name

I needed to feel like I belonged

to something

to someone

life wasn't something that I was good at

it was swallowing me whole

bit

by

bit

and I let it

confidence exuded out of my pores

but

it wasnt me

it wasnt who I was

I needed to go

oversee everything in heaven

in hell  

within the soil

in the depths of the earth

I needed to belong









..............







I heard when He said

that I was somebody

I was special

I was loved

I was cherished

that my journey had just begun

instead

of always feeling like my end was near

I had a purpose

I had someone to live for

so







I fought





I fought to be here

I fought to live

I fought to feel my fingers on my head

pulling my hair out

I fought to kiss my baby's head one last time

I fought to belong













to myself







.............







I didnt want to come back









but I am here

and I am here to stay