new imagery for 1st love

I am dead



my past is a pile of ashes



my eyes are as gray as the sky on the day we first met



eyes like pools of melted pearls





now your skin is long stretches of grassy plains

your words are endless drops of rain in the country

where no one lives

your lips are like lips-

pleasant in passing/ forgotten in leaving

an obscured memory of another orgasm



I am dead, because you

were the only man I swore to ever love

devoted easily

my entire life

to you

for a kiss from those lips

I am dead, because you

you and only you

you and only you

were the one

for me

I was supposed to die for you

and how

could I not?

Lover, one and only lover-

I have-

we are a pile of ashes now

Author's Notes/Comments: 

now begins the repetitiveness of being over him.  If you get bored, go to "high school" and contrast this with some of the love poems.  A good one is "Truth without pain".

one a second note, i'll probably be writing a poem about this but its an important thought- everything you believe and think will change, especially about love.  the most unexpected things happen when your not looking, like completely forgetting why you made your life out of pain from losing a first love, a little boy, some dignity.  everything i felt, the debilitating and completely true sadness, the anger, the shock and soreness and pain are all gone.  it is the strangest, most alien, shocking thing that has every happened to me.

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