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Call me crazy call me insane I dont care

anymore read this in disgust I dont care

anymore I want to die and it feels sweet

I would give anything to go back in time

and fall into his body of flesh his body

of water and drown down drown down sleep



like a thousand red ribbons unraveling from my lips i send him

silence i know hes not alive to listen and im not alive to speak

call me crazy call me insane i dont care anymore i don't need

anyone to understand me today i remember why i loved him and

it is safer and sweeter than anything in the entire world it

hurts so soft i am young

i am young again and breathing out



i don't need anything but this time i know

i can be this one person one person for the rest of my life

someone to never lose in the crunching wheels of seconds minutes hours decades eons away from him someone to

never lose



let me love him and death there are no tigers in it there are no

warriors just e minor and i love that chord it doesn't matter

how long its been because it never ended for me

i want him to go back in time and help me i want him to go back

in time and say sorry to my pretty face to tell me he will

remember me for who i was i gave him everything and

i never broke any promises to him

people tell me he is ugly people tell me i deserve better and i

start to believe them

but they weren't there before hard drugs and guitars

they weren't there before college and palestine they weren't there when he loved me when i was sixteen years old and

he held me there forever when i was his and he didn't want

anything more.



im not even sorry today for this.



i want him to go back in time and call me back.

i want him to call me right now and tell me a story any story

tell me a fucking story about sylvia i dont care none of it matters because my life would change the moment i heard

his voice

i miss him dont love him anymore but remember what it feels like

i want to understand him but if i did i wouldn't feel like this forever this is

forever for me

i am so comfortable saying it

this is forever i want to die