My Life, My Life With You

Speek only the words that are forever true,

Never think your love is true.

That is one thing I have learned in my days,

The feeling of lost love won’t go away.

Be always care with what you do,

Mistakes never made are mistakes never made true.

Remember every little thing I say,

I can teach you more each and every day.

Never do what I once did,

Love for one is for one to kid.

Only say what you mean true,

It will one day be spoken back to you.

I once loved,

But it got lost.

I loved again,

But that got tossed.

Now there is you,

You are better then true.

I swear that God put me here just to find you.

I don’t mean to sound so mean,

But I have been through more then you think.

There are things I have done,

That will never get won.

Life I have learned is not a dream,

I will some day slap you and wake you up.

You must learn,

That you must wait your turn.

Don’t hurt me,

And I wont hurt you.

I need more time to show myself true to you.

Do you know what it is like…

To love and love and then get stabbed in the heart with a pike?

I do,

It hurts me true.

But I one day do get through,

Then I see the lovely people standing like you.

My sister was right,

You cannot fight,

It doesn’t matter if you try with all your might,

You will one day wake up and see the true light.

I know this must all be confusing to you,

But you don't know the shit I have been through.

The rumors hurt me bad,

The lost love made me sad,

To find you made me glad,

But to lose myself in this life makes me mad.

I thought I had it all how I wanted it,

Then I fucked up and I got hit.

Not by you, but by myself,

Everything I did actually did all play out,

Now I stand here not knowing what to do…

Do I try again?

Or Do I turn away from you?

You see, it is all harder then you once thought,

I am not in a good place in my life and I am sorry for what you got.

Just let me work it all out,

Ill make the right choice,

No matter how hard it is or how weird it is.

You can trust me,

I only say true,

I cant stand to hurt people and especially you.

What I do is I hurt myself,

I don’t know when,

I don’t know how.

I will not change in a second,

That is not possible.

But give me a week, a month and I will try.

I will try to make things right.

I will try to push the bad things out of sight.

I knew that one day you must know,

But I am more complex then all I show.

I can’t tell you exactly what I mean,

I don’t show what is inside of my mind.

I will not lose you,

Nor will I try.

I wont abuse you,

I wont ever use you.

Don’t worry about me,

I will find out how it is supposed to be.

I have lost many friends of my mistakes,

I don’t want to make you another heart to break.

I broke my own all times before,

I don’t know if I can try and change anymore.

I didn’t used to be a nice guy.

I used to curse and wine.

We won’t be over for a while now,

I don’t plan on making you suffer like me.

Now you see how that girl hurt me.

Now you see the wounds she left in me.

I will never be the same as I once was.

You may not like that,

But I am sorry, I can’t change back.

I can’t forget lost love,

I have done a lot of things you wouldn’t know of.

I am not proud of my life,

All I want now…

Is to make you happy.

As long as you are happy,

I am happy, too.

That is the only think I want to do,

I wont get to do everything I wanted to…

I still hurt from the pains of the past.

That might finally go away at last.

Don’t lose me,

And I wont lose you,

You are all that makes my old days new.

You are all that make me happy.

Just remember all that I have said,

It is all that I can say.

I know it will all turn out in the best possible way…

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written for a girl, from a stupid, young boy...in 2001.

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Christine Smith's picture

Wow...this one is really really long! I'm sorry ya had to feel this way...but glad ya grew up.