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I had four

That was it

I was understood

Too unsure of myself for that year to be my favorite

When it came to everyone else I was just another name, another classmate

You didn’t do a double take with me that’s for sure

I was shrinking

Into the background maybe

Didn’t stand out

No sports, no talents, just there

Knew I wasn’t popular

But never wanted to be

At least not as bad as some

In some instances I was envious of them

I wanted to be that comfortable

But never was

Never in a bathroom at parties making out

Or on a couch with a guy’s hand on my leg

I was just an onlooker

Wishing for their unfailing confidence and ease

Our club, our powers

A futile, childish attempt at bonding our friendship

Never tried to be cool

Knew I wasn’t

Took pictures of the groups

The groups that I didn’t quite like, didn’t quite hate, didn’t quite want to be a part of

Just wanted some recognition from

Highschool found us a little older, a little less close, a little more busy

With new friends, new stories, new lives

While trying to hold onto our note-writing, slumber party days

I never felt out of place with these people

We permanently belonged

To each other at least