Linda Reports From the Front

This is Linda Lieaday reporting

Live for WPIX in LA

With a lot of sand I am sporting.

Embedded with our troops here in Iraq,

I ran into someone you may remember

From the Love Boat disaster that made it back.

With me here today on this mission,

Is none other than that miracle survivor,


Linda. If I may,

I have no comment on that,

We are on a different mission today.

If I may ask why give up your doctor’s practice in L.A.

To be a ground pounder,

In this God forsaken place?

Why aren’t you assigned to a Medical group,

Instead of leading these men,

In the front line troop?

Good questions, all that I will address.

I believe that other thing you mentioned,

Was just God’s test.

If I passed, there was something for me here,

He hasn’t led me to it yet,

Did you know he likes beer?

I am a ground pounder my friend,

Cause medical folks can’t carry weapons,

And for my family, myself I must defend.

I help in the hospital whenever I can,

But keeping my men safe,

Always takes the upper hand.

Well, Captain, we are running out of time,

Would you like to send some Easter greetings

While we are on the line?

Yes Linda, I really would,

Seina, Leann, Lacy, Lilly I love you all,

Leann, Lacy, and Lilly, help mommy by being good.

Moms and Dads, if you are listening in,

Thanks for all the goodies,

Helped make a lot of local friends.

Thank you Linda for having me on,

Here are a bunch of men here,

That would like to send video greetings home.

Thank you Captain, we will try,

But for today’s broadcast,

We are out of time.

Mitch. From Iraq, only God knows where,

This is Linda Lieaday reporting,

From way out there.

We are out.

Captain, are you free for a time,

I would like to get the facts of your story,

To integrate with mine.

Would you like to share an MRE,

Have a little dinner?

On me?

As tempting as your offer may be,

There is only one woman I want to share dinner with

And that is my Seina, see?

If you change your mind,

Captain, my tent is over there,

I am not hard to find.

Thank you Linda I am flattered,

But God didn’t send me here for that,

My life, once, was nearly shattered.

I dare not go there again,

As it may not be restored

From where I have been.

Thank you, no, I will have to pass,

For I have three girls at home,

That I would never trade for a quick piece of a**.

I understand Captain,

You are a good man,

She is lucky to have you,

I hope you make it through.

Goodnight, will you walk me to my tent?

It would be my honor ma’am,

Allow me. Sergeant!

Escort Ms. Lieaday to her quarters,

Then you are dismissed,

No further orders.

Ms. Lieaday, Good night.

Lord. You heard me, did I do right?

I think I did, hug my babies for me.

Good night.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

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