The Anticipation

I lay in bed dreading the headlights that flash across my bedroom wall.

 

My body tweaks, as I hear the engine of your truck work hard to make it's way up the hill. 

 

The anticipation of not knowing what kind of night it will be. 

 

The slam of your drivers side door makes me hyperventilate. 

 

I cover my head with all my stains and the smell of urine. 

 

I start to rock back and forth as that soothes the anxiety. 

 

I can hear your words slur, a loud smack, and my mothers whimpers.

 

All the dogs go crazy now, as they hate you, as I do. 

 

The thud of your boots creeps closer to my bedroom door. 

 

I know whats coming next.

 

I pretend I'm sleeping but my eyes quiver back and forth with fear. 

 

The light from the kitchen lights up the under lids of my eyes, as I hear the door creak open. 

 

All I see is the red as I pinch my eyes shut, and all I smell is staleness of your heart. 

 

You grab ahold of my hair. 

 

BOOM.  Here we go... 

 

 

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