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Guess I never was one for commitment

I couldnt promise to love someone for so long

Maybe that is why nothing ever worked out

Guess that is why I am not so strong



I fear being touched to the extremes

Relief of that fear only happens in dreams

But in my nightmares, where I cant wake up..

I see things happen that I would never wish to dream of...



I fear the touch, the coldness on my skin...

I start to shiver and shake within..

In these nightmares, I hate to admit what I see...

The one I love abusing me...



So when you talk of things like love and slave

That is not something I choose to crave

I dont want to be abused

I am already so very bruised



I fear that you would force me to do things that I dont want

Those feelings forever tease and haunt

I am not the best at saying no

So I am afraid of where I would go



But I dont want to lose you

I love you from the bottom of my heart

I am afraid that I cant give you want you long for

and to be used, I dont want to start



I fear so much that you could hurt me

I am so scared to go too close

That is why sometimes I seem so uneasy

Another reason why I often wonder why I am the one you chose



You make my world a bit brighter

With you my skies are a bit lighter

But still in my heart, my skies are grey

Because the fear pushed my love for you away



I cant make you wait for me to get better

That would be so unfair

So here I sit and write this letter

To let you know that I am sorry and that I care



I hope goodbye doesnt hurt you as much as me

Here I sit and cry and bleed

I hope you find someone much better

Now I think I will tear up this letter....