PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

My Slurred Speech....5/18/03



I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING..........

THAT, "HOW IN THE HELL COULD I BE IN DENIAL,

CONJURING UP EXCUSES WHILE STANDING ON TRIAL?"

I ALWAYS ASK MYSELF, "WHY DO I CHOOSE TO BE AFRAID?"

MY INSECURITES ARE CONCEALED AS I'M CONSUMED

BY THE RAGE

WELL ANYWAY...MY ORDEAL BEGAN ON PAYDAY

IN THE WHIP DOLO, BUMPIN TO KAY SLAY

WITH THE PLOT TO INJECT SOME 80 PROOF TONIC

AND SOME HAZE TO BLAZE AND SOME BUBONIC CHRONIC

EXCUSE THE VERNACULAR

I DO THIS SHIT ON THE REGULAR

WITH NO SUCH CAUTION IN MY VEINS

JUST THE ALCOHOL I ABUSE SO MUCH

I'M SO IN CONTROL AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE

EVERYTIME I WANT TO SUCCEED;

or EVERYTIME I ESCAPE PROBLEMS IN LIFE

or EVERYTIME I SLAP MY WIFE

or EVERYTIME I GET INTO FIGHTS

or EVERYTIME I HAVE SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

DAMN.





MY BAC BEGINS TO INCREASE

THE NIGHT IS YOUNG, TO SAY THE LEAST

HALF MY BREAD IS ALMOST GONE

WILL SOMEONE DESIGNATE TO TAKE ME HOME?

IF NO ONE DOES, HELL, I WON'T DEBATE IT

I GOT REMY ON THE MIND WITH NOTHING TO CHASE IT

I DARE ANYONE RIGHT NOW TO TELL ME I'M DRUNK

I'M A GROWN-ASS MAN; AND I AIN'T NO PUNK

MR.DANIELS HAS INDEED FULFILLED MY SOUL

AND DISRESPECT NOW PLAYS A ROLE

I STEP ON SOME FEET, PALM A FEW ASSES

TALK A BUNCH OF SHIT, BREAK A FEW GLASSES

IN MINUTES I'M COMPELLED TO DO TASKS FOR THE DEVIL

I FIGHT TO KEEP MY GUARD UP BUT RETIRED TO SETTLE

THEN THIS KAT FROM NOWHERE STEPS TO ME......

HIS FISTS TIGHTLY CLENCHED

HE HAD FIRE IN HIS EYES AND MUCH TO MY SURPRISE.....

DO I DUCK? TOO LATE.....I'M OUT OF LUCK

<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>

THAT'S ALL I REMEMBER.

WHEN I COME TO, I'M LAID OUT IN THIS CHAIR

WITH THIS LUMP ON MY HEAD, HOW'D THAT GET THERE?

I'M ON MY FEET READY TO ROLL

"DON'T TOUCH ME NIGGA! I'M IN CONTROL!

AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE

EVERYTIME I WANT TO SUCCEED

or EVERYTIME I TAKE A SWIG

or EVERYTIME I NEGLECT MY KIDS

or EVERYTIME I'M THROWING UP

or EVERYTIME I'M LOSING TOUCH

DAMN.



IS THIS ANY WAY TO REPRESENT

TO MANAGE MY COMPOSURE AND STILL BE BENT

BUT I SHOULD BE USED TO THIS RIGHT NOW

MR. DANIELS TRAINS ME NOT TO THINK RIGHT NOW

I CAN'T FIGHT THE FEELING, I NEED TO BE AT EASE

AS I STAGGER TO THE CAR, LOOKING FOR MY KEYS

SOMETIMES I FEEL MY DAYS ARE NUMBERED

THIS WAY OF LIFE HAS DRIVEN ME UNDER

THIS INFATUATION TOTALLED TO DETRIMENTAL

A DILEMMA SO SUSPENSFUL, IT OVERSHADOWS MY

CREDENTIALS

I KNOW GOD FORGIVES ME FOR THE SINS I COMMIT

THE DRINKING, THE CHEATING AND MY ILL-TEMPERED FITS

I NEED TO BE CONNECTED WITH MY FAMILY AGAIN

I CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF EVEN LOSIN EM, MAN

UP AHEAD IS A GRASSY KNOLL

OH MY GOD! I'M LOSIN CONTROL!

TELL ME WHAT I HAVE BECOME

I JUST HIT A LADY AND HER SON

SHOULD I COMMIT A HIT AND RUN?

OR SHOULD I GET OUT AND HELP SOMEONE?

DAMN.



IT'S A MONTH LATER....THE CHILD RECOVERS

AND IT'S LOOKIN STABLE ON THE CONDITION

OF HIS MOTHER

I REALLY FUCKED UP BIG THIS TIME

BEHIND THESE BARS FOR INDIGNANT CRIME

FOR BECOMING FRIENDS WITH VODKA AND WINE

AND LETTING THESE BASTARDS INFLUENCE MY MIND

IT'S REALITY THAT HITS CLOSE TO HOME LIKE A BUNT

MY ARRAIGNMENT IS SET TOMORROW, A QUARTER

AFTER ONE

DAMN.....





my name is john doe and i'm an alcoholic.