mental cannablism,

too fine an appetite


when confined to

a quiet room,

perhaps russian

roulette will stave

off the hunger,

flirting with


taking the decision

away, leaving it

to chance,

standing over the edge,

looking into the abyss,

suspended animation,

delayed ejaculation,

waiting for the moment

to let go, but too hard

it is to resist to control

the outcome, no faith

in the pleasure gained,

I know what will happen

before it happens that is

why it is so boring to

exist but no so more then

not, this contradiction:

trying to be and not be,

back and forth to something

and nothing, wanting heads

and tails, true and false, life

and death.



Author's Notes/Comments: 

We get bored being ourselves. Sometimes it feels good to not always do the right thing. There is a sense of elation from conflict. I had a theory once that wars are sometimes fought because rich people get bored and want to vicariously experience the death of the men they are sending to battle. Their comfortable cushy worlds are not enough for them. They like to play chess with the world.

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PLUR92's picture

i understand

i understand the want to be something that im normally not. sometimes i want to be heard, appreciated, sometimes even noticed and seen.

i love this piece.

keep it up

Joanna S.

EventHorizon's picture

I'm in a state of limbo

I'm in a state of limbo (confusion). Life and death. I want neither. I just want things to stop changing so fast, so I can take a break. Relax.