No Answers To The If's and Why's

Looking inside I realize I'm not the same, I've watched old men go to sleep for the last time, a parent tell a child goodbye, I've seen children who never had a chance go from life to lifeless from cancer, people die in an instant and some. . . Well some take parts of me. I've seen a young girl take her last breath as both husband and father cry to God for answers. . . Me well I push on to the next and swallow it all inside, put on a smile only to see a junkie come in crying for a fix and listen to him lie. I don't know why I do this anymore, it's not to watch a young man take his body for granted, only to see a kid who never had half a shot give their all for another day. I think I need someone to save me because I'm losing hope and I'm afraid I might walk away. I think I forgotten who I am, because who I was thought I could make a difference, but the truth was always there I just missed it. The codes to mask the severity, the terms to throw off the truth, I can't remember just who I do this for, them or me. I thought I'd feel good to help but some days are so bad I make believe I'm numb, but some times I don't have to pretend at all.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I'm not going to begin to express the sympathy I've felt for some people, I refrain from ever writing about work but today was just different.

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word_man's picture

powerful write,sounds like a

powerful write,sounds like a counciller trying to help people while it is eating you up

schmuckjones's picture

Having to become numb...

Its gotta be intense having the sympathetic experience in which others are suffering.  Sad but honest write, understandable to a t.  Don't be afraid to talk to god.  I hope you have betters days ahead,  Non smiter of senior citizens.     

Death_from_a_kiss's picture

Empathy, not sympathy

Sometimes, you just have to let it out. It's a good write, sad but good.