Heart's Lament


On a peak of anguish

There sits a citadel

A lonely palace, on the scourge of death

This is my heart’s last lament…

And upon these palace walls, torches burn

An ember so forlornly wavers

The flames do flicker upon these gates

Shedding light to a long lost fate

In a desolate room, on the outskirts yore

Is an iron door, so wide, so dead

This ponderous door holds a prison cell

Come to me, hear the story I tell…

Inside this long lorn room of fear

An innocent child, is chained to the wall

An innocent youth, her age unknown

She sits, on the cold bare cobblestone

The room is dimmed by the wrathful lights

The cobwebs amidst the walls…

The little girl sits, and glances a gaze

And upon her lips, a vacant phrase

This is the personification of pain

This innocent youth, so chained to the wall

The dungeon is no more than my ragged mind

And the chains are PAIN, as pain does confine

The cobblestone is a symbol of utter cold

The walls are a story, yet to be told

And amidst her eyes, an innocent glow

Will she escape?  She is never to know

The bleak iron door, is a grim reminder

It taunts her every move

And chained to the wall, she longs for no more

Than for death to free her heart so sore

Her hair is jet black, her eyes are pale blue

Her face is so fair, her lips so true

Her complexion is pale, she’s never seen light

Alas, an innocent youth of the night

Her clothes are tattered, forever frayed

No shoes on her feet, her heels but slaves

She is starving, but no, not hunger for food

She longs to escape, from the cell so crude

Her hunger for passion, burns deep inside

She’s locked in a prison, forever reside

No hope does she hold, for her broken soul

Inside her black heart, a vacant hole

Her eyes are dry, no more tears

Her pain is too much for tears

Long has her face held a frown

Adorning her head, agony’s crown

Her eyes so empty, lacking her youth

Her ears are but deaf, lacking the truth

Along her face, an empty glance

Only longing for just one chance

Across the room, a flicker of hope

A small blue flame of hope…

As hard as she tries, she cannot reach

Around her throat, sorrow’s leash

That vague shard of hope is all she needs

But alas, she cannot reach…

One small touch would suffice

But no, just out of arms grasp

She stares endlessly at that long lost flame

Knowing inside there is NO hope for her

No hope for her lost soul

It is eternal sorrow…

“Bury me deep, bury my soul

Bury my anguish, fill my hole

Slay me now, I beg you please

I beg you, bury me deep”

These are the words from her lips

She only longs for her own crypt

Knocking on hopes door

Only for to be ignored

Another mocking emblem near her reach

A dagger’s blade, could quell her speech

Somewhat closer than the flame

But she can’t reach, to end her pain

Day by day, she lashes out

Just to reach the taunting knife

ALMOST, she can feel the hilt

She longs for her own blood to be spilt

Then one dark day, the realization…

There is no way out

The iron-clad chains embrace her

She cannot escape

She cannot reach the flame, nor the knife

She cannot end her life

Destined to sit in misery

Destined to live in strife

She leans upon the cold wall

Waiting another day

Waiting another month

Waiting another year

Her hair grows gray, her eyes grow deep

Still her endless eyes don’t weep

Closer and closer every day

To reaching the knife, an ending astray

But above her head hangs a string of faith

This small shred of light in her life

This meager string above her

She can reach it…

With a swift motion

She grabs the string

And clutches it near her heart

NOW, she at least owns something

Something vague, yet true…

Vulgar, yet peaceful all at once…

Then she knows what she must do…

As she leans upon the elder wall

A more comforting notion she attains

Even through faith, her hope is still lost

She’s destined to live in pain

Faith… is much better than hope

An ounce of faith, is ten of hope

And faith transcends, where hope begins…

However, more comforting is hope…

For it veers your soul to rest…

This dim-lit room, where she resides

Is where her endless pain confides

And her soul shall coincide, with the dreary pains of life

Whilst her shadow nearly mocking

And her clock, so slowly tocking

The truth is somewhat shocking...

She wishes for the knife…

As she thrust her fist against the wall

Hard she tries, won’t end it all

And her heart’s lament is true to me…

As is pain and misery…

Never will she leave that room

Her eyes only set for doom

Her heart shall break, one thousand times

So weaves this leery loom

Dreams are made winding through her head

Thoughts of grotesque, thoughts of long since dead

Dreams do kill the light, and light to stray from this

Alone she sits, in blackened cell, the innocent mistress

Open anger, and, free all hate

None can spare her from this, this distant fate

“Free me now, I beg to thee

Free from all my misery

Torment too great

Torment, and fate

Spare me, I can’t take this…”

“I beg you, kill me, kill me, kill me…”

She does whimper, again and again

Archangel of hatred, brewing within

Time’s grim trials speak her words

From her pain she cannot be deterred

I have long been in pain…

This grim mistress is MY pain…

She is a symbol of my misery…

The lonely girl, shackled by depression…

She is my mind… none other than my mind…

Dreams still flow now, within her brain

Nothing spares her from this pain

Longs for death but cannot reach

Still confined by her lonely leash

In her head…. In MY head…

In her heart… through MY heart…

Dreams not fading, from her mind

Nothing aiding, to her confines…

In her MIND, in MY mind…

Through her veins… through MY veins…

Years have passed now, she still sits

All alone now, in her pit

Hair so gray and, skin so pale

Eyes still dry, so ends this tale

Still out of reach, the knife

Still out of reach…

Alone she sits, and no tears to comfort her

All alone, she leans upon her well-known wall

She grasps the chains, around her breast

Nothing puts her soul to rest

Now she’s fading, into the abyss

Nothing aiding, my dear mistress

Time is churning, out more pain

Nothing frees her, from these chains…

Free her now while you have the chance

Take a knife and free me from my stance

All alone she sits in discontent

This is the tale of my heart’s last lament

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Too long have I been depressed... far too long.  I only put on a smile for the world.  I don't even cry anymore, my eyes are even too desolate for even TEARS.  Someone kill me please, I am too cowardly to do it on my own... when I personify my depression, all I can think about is a little girl sitting in the corner of a dark room... and she stares at me with these empty eyes of long lost sorrow.  THAT'S what I think of when I think of my hopeless mind... and so I wrote a poem describing these images.  I need an end to everything.  Someone free me, I've allready tried to overdose... didn't work, I pansied out.  If not free me, pray for me... I have no hope, only faith... and that's slowly leaving me as well.  Pray for me.  Please.  I beg of you.  Pray.

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