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All You Can Eat
All You Can Eat
It was all-you-can-eat mussels' Monday,
Vintage wallpapered we’ve all pulled down in aged apartments in our youth,
College towns abound with mite filled plaster walled shotgun houses,
But we were older, pass that now,
And I sat and looked at that wallpaper,
Diamonds of tourquoise outlined with gold Fleur-de-lis’,
Truly ugly, but magical in this hidie-hole restaurant,
Laughing, eating mussels, breaking the record of bowls ordered,
Silly, full and sinfully contemplating another round, he said,
You know I’ve been thinking about this lady I’m working with,
I think there’s more to it,
And I want to be open to pursue it.
He said that as I decided the wallpaper was going to be permanently indelible in my mind's eye,
Just as the taste of garlic lamb wine sauce would smack of rejection,
Innocent mussels cut off the floor of the ocean or riverbed or wherever the fuck they lived
Their fucking happy lives
Before they came to bear witness to his
Emotional infidelity,
Not bound to her, under no obligation except friendship and the sharing of a bed winding down a 6 year love affair,
They had settled in a coupling
Monogamous and exclusive
Knowing he wanted to flee,
Time again his scorpion sting
Would make a break but grandiose ideals
Faded
And he’d return
She’d take him back
And they’d sit and watch Jeopardy by the artificial fireplace
Battery candles flicker
And fruit flies flutter.
They’d sit in an embrace not sat before in all their geriatric years,
His arm around her
Her back against him
His hand cupping her breast
Without intentions,
Stomachs too full from a meal.
Here though tonight with the mussel shells piled
The sauce glistening greasy on the dark wood table,
Concrete floor abstract art in grey,
He said he had to see where it led.
She keenly took notice of its similarity
To the designer scarf
Around his neck.
Is there a way to let the air out of your soul so many times
That it no longer can be filled again?
Flaccid?
She came all the time.
Over and over,
The first man to ever do that,
Their lovemaking thick and drenching
Never quite done
An endless series of toss and tumbles
Until the time he said
It’s not you it’s me.
You mean I'm not the you you need me to be?
So yea it is me?
Staring at hideous mid-century colors
Eating mussels my mid-century parents brought me up on
Being dumped by a mid-century born bald man
To pursue an unshareable dream
I was never invited to dream.
Wow, you do know how to set a
Wow, you do know how to set a stage! The ambiance, crafty and evocative in itself, was an effective part of the character study, the dynamics of the relationship and the shattering exchange.
I was absolutely seeing—and feeling!—the moment when everything plummeted and "the wallpaper was going/ to be permanently indelible" and "the taste of garlic lamb wine sauce would/ smack of rejection".
Even the mussels became part of the tragedy—collateral damage, you might say.
Small details carry a lot of weight in your surprisingly efficient, very human drama. You slyly linked emotions to small yet highly symbolic details and allowed the scenery to express the devastation, but when you were overt, you took it to a stunning level of artistry:
"Is there a way to let the air out of your soul so many times
That it no longer can be filled again?"
Everyday sorrow turned into art. Marvelous.
Thank you
You always get me. I feel so blessed you enjoy my work. I almost cried when I was reading. Thank you again.