Sunlight, The Cold Intruder


Sunlight, The Cold Intruder

His attention span was as breezy as dust to a cloud,

Hers like dirt to mud.

She stood and attacked the sun with her pale demeanor,

Challenging the radiation to penetrate her as

His attention returns and settles on her like the sediment of wine, the color of her cheeks.

“You stayed out in the sun too long, my dove, you must be more careful of your beautiful skin.”

He grazes it with knuckles dry as the cloud, leaving a trail of

Ash and prickles.

“Yes, my love, I will take care,” 

Arid and dry, his kisses chafe her lips, and

He gathers the legacy of his life,

Packs it in an overnight,

Empty of memories.

Her fingers tip to the balance of her life,

Qualified by the wear on the strap on his shoulder.

She outlines the dent it makes,

“You as well, my dear. You as well.”

It’s the cloud that passes over,

It’s the cloud in a dusty breeze

That attracts, attaches and attacks the sun,

Holds its rays from reaching the ground,

Radiating and penetrating the soil dark, and chilled,

“And you as well, my love, and you as well.”

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Took out a line. It’s not missed

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patriciajj's picture

Wow. Now this is some true

Wow. Now this is some true art. Brilliant beginning and ending, and everything in between. I was captivated by how well you wove a consistent metaphor throughout, how it came full circle at the end and struck hard against the last line of dialogue, creating an impact that almost echoed. 


Stunning work. 

djtj's picture

An appreciated comment.

how pleased I am with your comments especially after reading your Poems.  They are awesome. I am delighted you like this. I am constantly defending my preference to mix metaphors with a dear friend who is the subject of this one. But I think I did stick to it. Thanks. Please read my Oil of Synchronicity where I mix my metaphors for a purpose. 
thanks again.