i miss

My Stuff

every morning when i wake up

and i see you asleep at my side

i cant help but reminesce

i say what if and i miss my old life

i think of nights spent alone

i remember that my hipbones were once painfully visible

i remember the apple whiteness

of my skin, the redness of my

anger seeping through me

I remember the way i used to

do my makeup, the clotes i used to wear, what i used to

say and how everyone stared,

i remember stripping for free

now i'm the only one who will ever see beyond my bikini

i remember no stretch marks and longer

hair, i knew where my linkin park cd was and

my computer knew all about me and we stayed up

late into the night.

i remember being desperate

and feeling so confused

the worst thing I remember

was all of the abuse or when

i knew i was being used and didn't do anything

i remember m bad report cards and my yellow teeth

from all that sugar i still miss the

roleplay and the psych wards too

i misss my evanescence cd and the bus

and the front and feeling

rich and


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