I am on top of the world baby

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Literary Passages

I am on top of the world baby,

 

               I am done with it! I am letting go and kicking to the road all the negativity that has held me down for so long. Closed off I thought I could escape the pain and suffering of failure. Opened I chanced every emotion just for the thought of hope. Every rock thrown at me I caught and kept, griping the mistake till my hand bled then tossed it on my shoulders where it just festered and rotted. So we are told to move on, move past and “forget” our regrets, our short comings. We are addicted to the misery that is the underdog of trying and trying, knowing that just before we reach that moment where everything makes sense, and things start to go our way, we are stomped on and beaten back to that cold dark place that is the pit of where all that negative debris was stashed.

We go to bed at night in the hopes that tomorrow will be better, that maybe it will be just a little easier to endure. There is something to feeling as though the day is nothing but entering a stage, where you are strapped to a sadistic torture table. Today will be better you tell yourself, but when that one thing goes wrong, it trips the dominoes. By now you just strap in for that roller coaster and once again you start hoarding all the crap that is thrown your way, taking it and taking it.

         So you want to breakdown? You want to give up? You want to get mad?

What are you going to do? When you are pushed to your limit, Lost in a sea of madness what “choice” or action will you make? Will you go out violently or will you go out quietly? Lose that pit, let go of all the negative forces holding you down, holding you back. Accept the fact that you in all reality have no control, We are masters of our own domain yet we cannot even master our own bodies. Give in to the fact that the only control we have is what we say, and what we do in this moment. I can control my intent on and in this world, in this life.

          My failures and all my regrets are lessons. Battle scars to the testimony of my trials by fire, or those moments of epic tragedy. My history outlined in gold when I have only ever lived in poverty. I've known riches beyond kings. I have lost treasures that were unique and priceless. My memories keep them alive, but attached was the emotions like a web of failure echoing in its wake. Often forgetting the little secrets to making it through this trap riddled maze known as our life. I tripped and I fell many times, often told to just brush it off like it were nothing, when deep down we all know that if the roles were reversed you would be doing the exact same thing. We are who we are, and nothing will change this. This is but our own perception of this strange existence.

             I do not claim to know where my path will lead me or where my future will take me. All I know is the more baggage you carry over your shoulder along this road, the heavier your heart becomes. Losing ground until you just collapse. That is where you will face that questions “So you just want to give up?” that is where you meet all the worst parts of yourself, the darkness that negativity you harbor.

“Get over it” It's always easier said then done, and the asshole who says it, is ignorant to the fact that the demons he fights day and night is to him what it is to the other. The pain is not the same but there is in fact pain.

In this strange paradox known as reality, known also as my life. I know there will be no one like me but countless souls who could understand and relate.

 

Live your life strange and you will see, the world is not always what you think it to be.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

First editoral piece I've done in awhile......

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jessie2376's picture

Totally understand and

Totally understand and relate..  thanks for this piece!

SSmoothie's picture

BoooyeahBOOOYEAH! I agree as

BoooyeahBOOOYEAH! I agree as per usual with every darn thing you said and I'm a bout to follow suit!  Awesome write, I've missed these! Hugss 


Don't let any one shake your dream stars from your eyes, lest your soul Come away with them! -SS    

"Well, it's life SIMS, but not as we know it" - ¡$&am

Morningglory's picture

I like it Damien. A good read

I like it Damien. A good read for me. Thanks for posting here. :)


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