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Silent Streets
Ten years of silence in these streets,
broken hearts and children's bare feet
a place once alive and new
now faded and home to few
The bird sings on an old fence
as a mother cries as she can't make rent
windows shatter and tears fall
it leaves them with no hope at all
A baby looks him in the face
theres no love their to embrace
money put to make bruises
a mind drained as the needle abuses
She tells herself thats she is fine
every hit won't cross the line
heaviness takes over as she tries to stand
the only one who can love this man
Eighteen and wishing he was dead
a bottle helps him go to bed
noone will help as they pass on by
he continues to drown himself in the lie
The scream don't leave me daddy
I bet you wish you never had me!
A family crushed like broken glass
children cry as they hold fast
The last light finally turns off
in the morning the cycle won't stop
silence in the street drowns out the pain
the rest of us only look on them with shame.
-James
Ya, you are right. It will defiantly need reworking. I never finish a poem though, I always re-work. Even years later :P
The reason the first three stanzas feel differently from the last 3 is because the inspiration for the poem came during that time. The first stanza was gonna be meant for a completely different poem. I worked it in.
The first stanza meant to be a introductory and the last supposed to be a conclusion. I'm defiantly not happy with the last stanza, I suck at closing poems.
Thanks for the advice.
~James/Dakota
This is quite good, but I think that at a later time, you should look over the first three and the last stanza, and see if you want to make any changes. They seem to kind of stutter, but that may just be me. And I think hindsite is always good for any poem anyways. But other wise, I like the wording, and the feel of the poem.
I'm a psycho, not a doctor.