Author Information
PURGATORY
When Christine heard
that he'd tried
to hang himself
in the men's crapper
desperation bells
began to ring
inside her head
then she saw him
on the locked ward
sans laces
or belts
or anything
he may use
to repeat
the performance
and he sat
in the big chair
his eyes dull
and his hair untidy
and with that loose hanging
dressing gown
minus belt
and in pyjamas
like some
Auschwitz guy
and she said
what the fuck
you in here for?
sitting in the armchair
next to him
broken heart
broken love
lost love
soul crashing
through all gears
to get back
to base
who knows?
he said
like that huh?
join the club
for what it's worth
we're all fucked up here
like driftwood
on a lonely beach
on some deserted island
she said
he gazed at her
disinterestedly
as if a gnat
had landed
on his hand
they lock
the doors here?
sure do
all the time
what about visitors?
once a week
Sundays
he looked at her
at her dark
long straggly hair
her dull eyes
why you here?
he said
some fuck
left me
at the altar
all dressed up
like some nun
in white
she said
he must have been
mad to have left you
anywhere
he said
well he must be
because he did
opposite
an Indian woman
sat crossed legged
picking
at her toes
a red spot
on her forehead
dressed
in long gowns
of bright colours
a plump woman
walked by smoking
eyeing them
suspiciously
foul mouthing
the nurse going by
so how long
you been here?
he asked
week or so
how long you staying?
until they say
I can leave
when will that be?
when they think
I’m better
or cured
or able to be
balanced again
when will that be?
how the fuck
do I know
she said
sorry
about the language
anger gets
to my tongue
before I do
you're not going
to hang yourself
again are you?
she asked
don't know
who I am any more
don't know jackshit
about myself
whoever myself is
she nodded
looked at his
handed in slippers
the scar
on his left wrist
not your first time then?
she said
touching the scar
guess not
he said
welcome to Purgatory
she said
he sensed her finger
on his scar
the female touch
he wanted something
whatever it was
something
to hold on to
O
so very much.
